Roy Kim ✿ Bom Bom Bom
B1A4’s 4th mini album cover for “What’s Going On?” revealed cr: beautifulday.kr
I need my mother to step back and remember that I am her DAUGHTER and while perfectly willing to give her support and talk to her I don’t want to be this middle man and while yes I THINK HE’S A SCUMMY FUCKING LOWLIFE WORTHLESS ASSHOLE and it gets worse by the day, I also don’t appreciate the thing she’s doing where she says shut like, “So what do YOU thin of your father?” and “If he leaves, what’s your relationship with him going to be like?”
Idk ma. I don’t. I know enough that thinking about him and this makes me RAGE until I’m drained and I don’t want to talk to him even though I called him so you WOULD STOP ASKING ME TO.
I love her, I do, but when I think of him leaving her and her moving in with me I WANT TO PANIC AND SCREAM because a few months I could handle but u g h not forever I SENT FOREVER WAITING TO GET OUT I NEEDED THIS I /NEED/ THIS LIFE OF MY OWN AND CHRIST I DON’T WANT TO DISCUSS THIS ON TWO HOURS OF SLEEP I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS
I wish she would understand.
I wish she would talk to friends, family.
I wish he would STOP HIS FUCKING SHIT AND BE OPEN WITH HER SO SHE ISN’T TEXTING AND CALLING ME AT ALL HOURS BECAUSE SHE’S UPSET AND ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS AND NOT EATING OR SLEEPING just
I can’t DO anything. I say everything I can and
G o d
I’m a ducking 24-year-old who hasn’t even been married a fucking year I’m not the person to give you advice this is just stressing me out too and GOD YOU CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS I CANNOT BE THE ONLY PERSON YOU TALK TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother wants me to talk to my father - and okay, I DO realize this is one of those fucked up situations where she’s trying to use me and maybe she doesn’t even realize it or maybe she does and she’s just desperate - but I just. I don’t know.
I don’t know what to say.
I have a LOT of things to say and half of them won’t help the situation, but I don’t know how to TAME DOWN what I feel and I don’t know how to think of him in a way that doesn’t make me want to set things on fire or smash things or throw up or pull away. I don’t know how to be honest and not wind up crying AND JESUS /GOD/ I DON’T WANT HIM TO HEAR ME FUCKING CRY.
Mom tried calling me from his phone and, predictably, I did not answer because I was just not ready to deal with him and his voice and his fucking EXCUSES and when she told him she didn’t think I’d answer, he asked “why”
When she told him I was pissed, he asked “Why?”
WHEN SHE TOLD HIM I WAS ABOUT TO BOOK A FUCKING PLANE TICKET TO GO UP THERE AND BE WITH HER WHEN I FOUND OUT HE LEFT, HE HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO ASK “WHY” I WOULD DO THAT. “WHY” I WOULD GO UP THERE. “WHY” I WOULD FEEL THE NEED TO BE WITH MY MOTHER AND SISTER AFTER HE WALKED OUT WITH NO TIME LIMIT, WITH THE NOTION THAT HE’S GOING TO DECIDE IF HE WANTS TO STAY AND HAD NO IDEA HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE.
GOD WHY DO YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO GO UP THERE?! LIKE JESUS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT?!
And I don’t know, I DO feel really mixed on this because this is one of those messed up situations where parents get their children involved and shit, but I guess he said something about how I ~should talk to him~ NEVER MIND THAT HE NEVER CALLED TO TELL ME ANY OF WHAT WAS GOING ON, never mind how FUCKED UP IT WOULD BE if he actually talks to ME and not my mother NEVER MIND THAT I AM YOUR FUCKING CHILD AND IT SHOULD NOT BE MY JOB TO TRY TO MAKE YOU SEE THE FUCKING LIGHT AND STOP BEHAVING LIKE A SELFISH IMMATURE FUCKING SHITHEADED ASSHOLE IDIOT
I AM THE CHILD I SHOULDN’T LISTEN TO MY MOTHER SOBBING ON THE PHONE AND ASKING IN THIS BROKEN, TINY VOICE “WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IF HE DIVORCES ME?”
I AM THE CHILD I AM THE ONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN CARE OF, NOT THIS OTHER FUCKING WAY AROUND.
AND HE /DOESN’T/ MAKE EFFORTS TO TALK TO ME. WE NEVER TALK. NOT ABOUT HIM AND MOM, NOT ABOUT DUSTIN AND ME, NOT ABOUT ANYTHING. He’s yelled at me plenty, and later done the uncomfortable hug and I’m sorry I love you I’m sorry I yelled blah blah BUT WE HAVE NEVER HAD HEART TO HEARTS BECAUSE I HAVEN’T EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO HIM IN YEARS BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT BECAUSE HE’S A MISOGYNISTIC PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE AND FUCK FEELINGS UNLESS IT’S HIS SELFISHNESS CLEARLY
But Allison yelled at him and idk maybe I SHOULD tell him what I think and feel instead of holding it all in but WHAT GOOD IS IT IF /I/ HAVE TO FUCKING MEDIATE AND HE’S NOT WILLING TO DO ANYTHING HIMSELF HOW DARE THEY PUT ME IN THIS FUCKING SITUATION HOW DARE HE NOT UNDERSTAND
God I have no fucking idea what to say to him. And if he’s not talking to HER, what is he even going to tell me?
How the fuck do I do this without crying?
BECAUSE HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO KNOW ABOUT ANY OF MY FUCKING TEARS AFLKJFLKjFDLKJsdfklja
You must see Highgarden! You’d love it there, I know you would. They have a great masquerade the night of the harvest moon. You should see the costumes, people work on them for months!
if you preface your feminism with “i’m not a lesbian” you need to grow up
throwing your lesbian sisters under the bus is not feminist
framing lesbianism as ‘bad’ is not feminist
catering to men (“i’m not like those man-hating feminists, i love cock!”) is not feminist
I have no fucking clue what is going on in this
CNU is being SO adorable I want to CRY
THEY’RE ALL BEING SUPER PRECIOUS AND DORKY
AND I KEEP HAVING TO COVER MY FACE AND MUFFLE MY SCREECHES
BECAUSE THEY’RE SO DAMN ADORKABLE LIKE A LOT OF PRECIOUS FUCKING PUPPIES
I JUST WANT TO CRY LMAO THIS IS THE WORST EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
(god I can’t wait for subs lmao)
(I THINK I FOUND SUBS)
(ALSO MIN IS SO FUCKING CUTE I’M DYING)
(B1A4 + MISS A’S MIN LIKE WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH MY LIFE KOREA?!!!!)
(i lied they are waiting on english subs like??? to be uploaded? idk)
HELP HELP DEATH BY FAVORITES
DAMMIT DAMMIT THIS EP
OF B1A4 HOTLINE
AND CNU IS THE MC AND I’M JUST
HOLDING MY FACE AND MAKING NOISES AND SQUAWKING AND
Dustin is going to come out of the room soon all WTF ARE U DOING????
and I’ll be starry eyed UGH UGH
I’M A HOT FUCKING MESS LMAO
dongwoo // man in love
Fucking Clockwork Princess isn’t even out yet an the angst and drama and stupid build up already has me ready to barf. I mean, I HAVE been for ages now.
And it just gets worse.
Because that damn SPOILER ILLUSTRATION AND JUST
EVERYTHING AND KNOWING THIS IS /CASSANDRA CLARE/ AND JUST
UGH UGH UGH
I just get super anxious and want to vomit and GOD THERE’S NO HAPPY ENDING BUT I WISH THERE /WAS/ ONE AND :’(
~spoilers~ below the read more
the adventures of harry and his awkward sleeping habits
remember when doctor who was a show about ordinary people doing amazing things because humanity is good and beautiful at its core instead of about moffat wanking over nice camera shots and undeveloped characters and confusing memory based plots