Baby Goodnight - B1A4
I know it’s like a rite of passage or something and at one point in her life every female declares I WILL NEVER BE LIKE MY MOTHER but oh my god how I pray I can actively keep myself from being her
Because I’m not saying she’s a bad mom, because she’s not, but there’s a lot of aspects and elements to her personality that I wish wouldn’t have existed when I was younger and I wish she would change even now.
I don’t want to be a mother who has no interest in her child’s interests. I don’t want to call their favorite books and movies stupid because “it’s fantasy” and “it’s not real”. I WANT to be into what they are and how they live.
I want them to be able to be themselves and not feel weird around me because I keep belittling what they say and do and are in to.
Because that sucks, mom, and I’m 23 and it STILL sucks.
And that’s my biggest things.
I can’t talk to her about shows or books or movies because she just flat out isn’t interested. And if my sister and I have book debates she (and Dad) tell us “It’s not even real, why are you fighting over this?”
and it’s just
stop trying to push your fucking opinions on me
and acting like yours are the only ones that exist and matter
I hate how she’ll never admit she’s wrong
and yet yells at me for being a proud snob
cos yeah. I admit it. I can be a SUPER proud, super pretentious and she faults me for it but like she’s any damn better???
yes mom that is you that is all you and I may be pretentious and I may be a snob and I may have issues with all the “country bumpkins” from my high school, but my reasons go fucking DEEPER than that
at least I’m not the one telling my sister it’s okay to call black people by the n-bomb and to say “they” in the manner that suggests they’ve nothing in common with you. I hate how you made it okay to support gay men, but not gay women, and yet you still cannot support same-sex marriage
I hate that you think all people should be ruled under YOUR religious upbringing and god what if I told you I don’t know if I believe in God huh? Can I actually tell you that?
can I actually tell you that I agree with more liberal views these days?
dad laughs at feminism and every time I take a feminist stance he all but calls me a fool and that is AWFUL because isn’t HE the one who told me my life is going to be hard because I’m a girl and that I’m always going to be at the disadvantage? so he should fucking ACKNOWLEDGE but he doesn’t and he laughs because he doesn’t GET it and he won’t get it because he doesn’t TRY to get it
God I sure as hell hope my kids never feel scared to talk to me about their lives because they think I won’t understand/will belittle them/won’t even bother to get the point like you do
I hope they have differing opinions and views sometimes so they learn how to think from themselves and don’t make the same mistake I did for 20-some years and just believe what their parents do BECAUSE their parents do
god it terrifies me to think I could ever be like her because no no no I don’t want to I don’t want to I refuse and I won’t be like her