So here’s the game plan.
I can’t unsee it, I can’t erase it from my mind (and I really really wish I could)
But I know I can’t call you out on it.
I want to believe innocent until proven guilty, I want to offer you the benefit of the doubt, but that’s not possible. You’ve shattered my trust whether or not this situation is what I fear it is.
I feel gross and sticky, coated with YOUR secret.
I can’t unsee but I’ll try to move on and… What? Pretend? I guess I’ll play a game of make believe, a game of extreme acting (not that I was ever an actress).
This is your war, and I won’t contribute a battle. If something comes out of this, something comes out. Maybe I AM somehow reading a situation wrong. Maybe the other party has it wrong.
Maybe you ARE the asshole I now think you are.
But if that’s the case, YOU’RE airing your dirty laundry. I’m kicking the pile back where I found it and moving onwards.
It’s gross, the way I will never forget this and how I’ll continue to look at you and wonder. But I’ll try not to, because that will only make me sick.
But I swear to God, if its true, if you hurt her, you will wish you could all take it back. I can do little physical damage, but I sure know what to way to cut you down. So help you god if I ever find out its true, because you KNOW she won’t recover.
So anyway. This is me burying it and moving on. I know its not healthy and maybe its not RIGHT, but its all I can do. I’m weak, I never claimed strength.
God I hope I simply blew a situation out of proportion.