Anonymous inquired: "Okay... I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to lose weight but I don't feel like it's working. All I feel is disgust for myself, and every time I look at my thighs or my stomach I just want to cut all the fat off. I can't eat less because I'm stupid and weak, and it's repulsive. I'm too scared to try throwing up, also because my family might hear me. I exercise but I feel like it's not doing anything. All I want is to be skinny and pretty..."

Oh Anon :((

I can’t say I’m a great expert when it comes to dieting/weight loss, because if you know me at all, you know that I’m rather dissatisfied with my body, too, and that control is something I don’t act on. So I can understand you. It’s hard. It’s VERY hard. You have an idea in your mind of how you SHOULD be and how you SHOULD look and when you don’t meet that expectation, you feel gross and ugly and weak and you hate yourself because you tell yourself you should be better than this stronger than this prettier than this etc etc.

And I think that’s where we go wrong.

Beating yourself up. It doesn’t do any good, does it? And I know it’s so much easier said than done, but I think the first step is coming to be okay with yourself. The more you hate yourself, the more disgust you feel for yourself, the harder it’s all going to be, won’t it? And you need to learn that weight loss definitely won’t happen over night. It takes time and effort - and lots of both.

But a diet isn’t going to be all that does it. You need diet and exercise, because simply diet won’t do it for you. And, oh god, please please please don’t let anorexia or bulimia become an option. Please stay stronger than that, because it’s SO detrimental to your health and your LIFE. Please don’t try it.

What kind of exercise are you trying, though? I’m not expert, but I’ve heard running and bike riding really help shedding weight. Are you a drinker of soda? Cut that out if you are - replace it with water or tea. Try to check your sugar intake - that’s the first easy thing you can do. And change your portions! If you start eating less at a time, it will help you ease into it. But don’t cut down too much, either, okay? You need to eat healthy - make sure you get your vitamins and your nutrients.

I would even talk to a doctor about healthier eating. S/he can tell you the best foods to eat without gaining too much weight/intaking too much fats and sugars.

But honestly, anon, I truly believe the first step is to change YOUR thinking and the way you think and especially the way you view yourself. If you look at yourself and feel disgust, you will never be satisfied. And if you call yourself stupid and weak, you will never be able to rise above that. You have to think positive (which sounds sooo much easier than it is; oh trust me, I know <3) and the more you believe your positive thoughts, the more you start to live them. You ARE strong enough to overcome your appetite - you just need to work on your willpower. You ARE strong enough to lose weight - you just need to stick to it and persevere. It takes time and effort and a lot of work, but determination can get you through it, I promise.

Set yourself achievable goals. Nothing like I want to shed 25lbs in two months, because when you feel like you aren’t making any progress you start to get frustrated, don’t you? Set goals that aren’t related to your weight - “I will run XX minutes this week.” “I will run XX miles” “I will stop drinking soda.” “I will start eating more [healthy food].” “I will trade one unhealthy food for something healthy.”

But remember. You have to be POSITIVE and have to think positively of yourself. You can be your own worst enemy, but you NEED to be your own best friend. And don’t keep it all inside. Talk to people. You can keep talking to me, too, if you want.

And please, also remember skinny =/= pretty. Be thinner because you want to be healthy, but not because you think it makes you any prettier than you are. Your beauty is not a matter of weight. Remember that. No matter what society tells you, your beauty is graded by you as a person and by the way you live and the way you treat people. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight! But don’t take unhealthy routes to achieve a flatter stomach and trimmer thighs because you think it will make you prettier. Those are the mindsets that get you lost in the weight loss: when are you finally “skinny enough”? “Pretty enough”? If you degrade yourself and find disgust in yourself, you’ll never build the self-worth it takes to look at yourself, stomach thighs and all, and see someone who is beautiful because they are confident and in control of themselves. Sometimes, I think it’s confidence that makes us pretty, rather than our body shapes. Curves are lovely! Really! But your weight/body size does not make you any more or less pretty than someone else.

Please remember that. And please, please be safe and healthy. <3 

1. quidditch-chick said: You are amazing, you know that? :)
2. alohomorashlie posted this